Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Polar Bear Baker's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
2:42 pm	Meshing and Merging Just wanted to let you all know that I've decided to mesh this journal with another of mine....in the form of an entirely new journal....feel free to add me and read alllll about me. Hope to see you all there! The new journal is: http://www.livejournal.com/users/awanderingsoul/ (Comment on this)
Friday, April 9th, 2004
4:34 pm	A real update coming soon, I PROMISE...but until then...hehehe! Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... Category Your Score Average Self-Lovin' 20% I wouldn't shake hands, if I were you 65.1% Shamelessness 50% It takes a couple of drinks 79.4% Sex Drive 52.6% A fool for love, but not always 77.7% Straightness 14.3% Knows the other body type like a map 44.9% Gayness 44.6% At least one weekend of ecstacy 83.6% Fucking Sick 69.9% Dipped into depravity 90% You are 42.46% pure Average Score: 72.7% Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up! (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 13th, 2004
8:04 pm	*sigh* More problems in my life my friends.....like i need anymore at the moment. the current new one, is this machine is VERY sick, and crashes about every 15 mins....I'm sending it off tonight to a friend's father....i hope he can fix is soon and cheaply...emphasis on soon.....as this is my communication route to the outside world....and my method of composing.......keep me in your thoughts, and send lots of love.....i could use it right about now....and not just because of a computer, you know what i mean. Love you all...hope to be back with you SOON. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: nothing, running more programs makes it crash faster (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 9th, 2004
5:08 pm	Yes..ANOTHER quiz....deal...hehe BLUE You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive. Find out your color at Quiz Me! You are the Moon card. Entering the Moon we enter the intuitive and psychic realms. This is the stuff dreams are made on. And like dreams the imagery we find here may inspire us or torment us. Understanding the moon requires looking within. Our own bodily rhythms are echoed in this luminary that circles the earth every month and reflects the sun in its progress. Listening to those rhythms may produce visions and lead you towards insight. The Moon is a force that has legends attached to it. It carries with it both romance and insanity. Moonlight reveals itself as an illusion and it is only those willing to work with the force of dreams that are able to withstand this reflective light. Image from: Stevee Postman. http://www.stevee.com/ Which Tarot Card Are You? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
4:46 pm	Lost I actually wrote this poem a few days ago...didn't know if I would share it, I guess I've decided why not....so here you go:            Lost Why is it so difficult       to find one’s place? Seeing what friends have,       and wanting it too. Lost in the fogs of life. Why does indecisiveness       happen so easily? You know to just choose,       and yet you can’t! Lost in the mists of life. Why do shortcomings       prey on us often? All you need to do       is forget and move on! Lost in the storms of life. Why must we wander       through life in the dark? When all we need do       is turn on our light! Lost in the lack of life. Why do we lean       on others for support? To become whole       just stand on your own! Lost in the weakness of life. Why must we pin our       problems on life? We should rise up       and take claim for ourselves! Lost in the void of myself.       -Find me- Current Mood: Good and Bad-Mixed w/ Confused Current Music: Muppet Central Radio Station -- Live 365 (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
10:55 pm	Music OK, yes, I know I haven't updated in a while....sowwwwwwy....hehe. Work is work...very little new and exciting there....but since i just got back from quintet, and am on kinda a high from that...i'm gonna do a little post about music. As I have already written that I had filled in with the First Coast WE again....I'm not gonna belabor that area for now. Two musical things have been going well for me lately.....the first being the quintet.....the four are a great group of guys...and very skilled players....I'm having a blast playing on Thurdsday nights with them. Tonight they commented that i might just become their regular player, as the other guy can rarely make it!!!! HEHEHE....so, at the moment, that has me quite happy. The other thing....this past Monday night, I walked about a block or two from here, to join in on something I haven't done in quite sometime......I went and met up with a barbershop chorus! Woah, they're really quite good...and their new director....AWESOME! They took to me, and I to them...had a blast and fit in well.....SO, it looks like I have a new musical activity on Monday nights! I've sang both bass and bari in barbershopping before...i could also do lead (tenor's just too damn high for this voice).....well, they asked me to sing bari...no problems......lots of fun harmonies there. More later, just wanted to post this, before you all thought i died...lol....more soon, promise this time. Current Mood: hyper Current Music: a number of things we played tonight....in my head though (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 14th, 2004
7:20 pm	hehe, quiz time Bored and alone....time for more quizzes! I'm exceptionally artistic! Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com. Blues are some of the most loving, nurturing and supportive personalities. They live from their heart and emotions. Their purpose for being on the planet is to give love, to teach love and to learn that they are loved. Their priorities are love, relationships, and spirituality. What Is Your True Aura Colour? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
5:25 pm	I know it's controversial....I know a lot of people are against it.....I know it's not for everyone BUT DEAL...I think this is an important thing. I know there are people who thump the book....it's a great work of fiction, written by MANY different men....over MANY years.....translated MANY different times....so, it's a weak excuse: Please show your support of this too.             Marriage is love. Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: nothing, yet....can't decide what i want to listen to (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
4:50 pm	Worn out and still #%I& sick Ugh...what a long and draining day today. Joyce was out sick, and Frank had left by like 9/9:30...SOOOOO, that means Matt gets to call all the shots today. Yipee...normally i wouldn't mind, but i've still got this #)(%*$ cough and cold...and you know me, i just basically get downright bitchy when i'm sick (i'm such a bastard, aren't i?! hehe)...ANYHOW....nothing went majorly wrong...but some of our staff is only tepid at best these days....*missing some of the better people at work who have gone on to better things* Oh well...I'm home now...listening to Eddie Izzard...poking around online...life is looking better. A lot on my mind lately, but so be it....that's nothing new for me....i deal. Current Mood: confused Current Music: Not music, comedy! -- EDDIE IZZARD (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 8th, 2004
2:09 pm	I simply don't believe it They're here...again...early...on a SUNDAY...yes....those asshole renovator jerks are here again...downstairs making such racket! ON SUNDAY!! Current Mood: enraged (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 7th, 2004
1:17 pm	OK, well...the stupid workmen are still making me angry....but i'm bored out of my skull. Lia's at work...all my online friends are away (it's ok, i don't hold that against any of them, just stating it)...still feel like shit, so i don't have the energy to do anything constructive....so...i'm gonna sit here and listen to music and take quizzes...hehe, you know what THAT means. Here we go: Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's beauty and just the life that no-one else sees. Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't mean you're not friendly! What kind of dark person are you? brought to you by Quizilla You are an Angel of hope. You are a prayer itself. You may not realize it, but when you are around people that are having bad luck, you ussually give them good luck at the cost of your own sometimes. If you have wondered about why you you always have bad luck yourself then you dont know much about your fate. Ironically, when you have bad luck, others have good. Keep praying... What Different Kind of Angel are you...? ( Anime-ish pics ) brought to you by Quizilla You represent... hope. You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't mind being alone at times. You have goals, and know what you want in life... even if they are a little far fetched. What feeling do you represent? brought to you by Quizilla create your own visited states map or write about it on the open travel guide Current Mood: bored Current Music: The Unicorn -- The Irish Rovers (Comment on this)
9:17 am	#(*%#&%*(#&% It's now quarter after 9.....on a Saturday morning.....a day I don't have to work...a day that i PLANNED to sleep in late in hopes that I would wake up feeling less sick. The key word here is hope.....well, hope got stomped on by a work crew. A very noisey and inconsiderate work crew in the apartment below me. Judging by the amount of noise, and the repeated nature of it...I can only assume they are either 1) completely gutting the place (wall plaster, celing plaster, floor boards, the works).....or 2) seeing how much damage the can inflict on that apartment before the contents of our apartment fall down there! Now, don't get me wrong, I know work crews are often very technically skilled, and good in their field.....but on a whole, they are unintelligent idiots. (Don't worry, there are exceptions to every rule.) What kind of asshole makes such a racket, ON A SATURDAY!!!! It's ok, I'm about to get my revenge. You don't let sick Matt rest.....I hope you like working to opera! *evil little grin* hehehe, I don't get mad....I believe in retribution! SO, my Saturday has started off on the bad and VERY PISSED foot. Here's hoping that's not the tone for the entire weekend! Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: nothing, yet -- soon, VERY LOUD OPERA (Comment on this)
Friday, February 6th, 2004
9:54 pm	#%(*#$%^& GERMS!!! Yeah, that's right....Matt's sick again. I HATE being sick.....I rarely use that term, because hate's so severe, but that's life. So, I'm taking some meds for it....which, if you know me even the slightest bit, says something....because this boy tries his hardest not to subject to the crutch of modern medicine. (Bully for natural immune systems, herbs and teas!) Oh well, bitching about being sick gets you know where, and often annoys those around you...SO, I will try not to bitch too much about it anymore. I WILL, however, bitch about one of my favorite topics to bitch about.....the cleaning wench at work. Hmmm...shouldn't call her a wench....wenches are usually semi-attractive to say the least.....semi-attractive doesn't describe Nell....semi-truck, maybe.....but I think i'll just use the term ogre. I had made a joke about "broomstick 1" landing soon today...BUT, don't want to offend any reading wiccans or pagans (or any writing these words for THAT matter).....anyhow.....yes, I've grumbled about her, but it just eats away at me, how anyone can be that flat out MEAN. Now, I try not to be mean, and I try not to think bad/harmful thoughts of others.....so, it really kinda scared me yesterday when I fashioned this train of thought out in my brain, and then proceeded to amuse my fellow co-workers with this discovery....that: "If Nell were in a boat, in the middle of the ocean....and the boat was sinking, but also on fire......I'd be the first one there to toss her a lead weighted life preserver, soaked in kerosene!" SO, yeah, that shook me up...I'm not a violent person....i try not to be cruel....why does this person get to me soo badly!? OK...THAT'S out of my system. SO...now it's my weekend..YEAH.....two days....no work...no bagel prepping....no cream cheese making....life is good. Current Mood: sick Current Music: Dvorak -- Serenade for Winds in d minor (in my head) (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 5th, 2004
11:23 pm	Quick Update Just recently got back in from playing with the quintet. They are all really nice guys, and play quite well....I had a blast, and, as I predicted, it felt good to be playing chamber music again. So....I'm 100% sure yet, but it seems like I might have myself a seat in a quintet! YEAH!!!!! Current Mood: excited Current Music: Dvorak -- Serenade for Winds in d minor (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 4th, 2004
8:50 pm	Yes, I know, MORE quizzes...deal, I like them! hehe You are: THE PENGUIN! Which Batman Villain Are You? brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
4:44 pm	A REAL update Yes yes, I know....i've been a lazy bum and haven't really written anything substantial lately...shame on me....get over it...hehe, i do! So....what have I been up to? What's been happening in my life!? Well, it's been pretty much the same things recently, I guess that's part of why I haven't really written here. Work's been pretty decent....actually becoming pretty low stress for me (there are always days that are exceptions to this statement though).....I pretty much have hit the pace where if I keep up with things, it's really an easy job....except for Mondays, where I have to play catch up for the fact that jack shit was done prepping wise over the weekend. Had two catering type jobs this past Saturday. Which for me, meant working with Bill and making up a bunch of mini-pastries....and mini croissant sandwiches. Musically, I'm still plugging along with bassoon...playing when I can....probably should be more often, but I'm easing back into this. Rehearsals with the First Coast group are going well....two concerts coming up with that. Tomorrow night, I'm going to join Robin, and go play bassoon, filling in for the bassoonist in his woodwind quintet....should be a blast, i LOVE chamber music, and it's been AGES since I've been able to play any. Not much else to tack on right now, but i do promise to get back to posting in here more regularly. Current Mood: creative Current Music: A waltz -- written by me...ok, so it's not finished, yet (Comment on this)
4:34 pm	More quizzes First of all, don't worry, I'm going to have a real update after this. Just saw Eeeeeka had two new quizzes posted, and I think they are awesome ones, so I took them too! Do the results suit me? hehe You are one of the few out there whose wings are truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and divine, you are one blessed with a certain cosmic grace. You are unequalled in peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of Light your wings are massive and a soft white or silver. Countless feathers grace them and radiate the light within you for all the world to see. You are a defender, protector, and caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver of the wrong, chances are you are taken advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often. But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in everyone and so this mistreatment does not make you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will try to help misguided souls find themselves and peace. However not all Angelics allow themselves to be gotten the better of - the Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting for the sake of Justice and protection of those less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever change - the world needs more people like you. *~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~* brought to you by Quizilla Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if? With a clever mind, you want to explore the world on a different level. Without the answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are most likely very creative and find yourself thinking things through on a different level. **Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics) brought to you by Quizilla (Comment on this)
Monday, January 26th, 2004
3:55 pm	A few more quizzes OK, so it's been awhile since I've slapped any of these results up here....but a friend of mine had two that I thought were quite cool....so, MY TURN....hehe! You are Form 1, Goddess: The Creator. "And The Goddess planted the acorn of life. She cried a single tear and shed a single drop of blood upon the earth where she buried it. From her blood and tear, the acorn grew into the world." Some examples of the Goddess Form are Gaia (Greek), Jehova (Christian), and Brahma (Indian). The Goddess is associated with the concept of creation, the number 1, and the element of earth. Her sign is the dawn sun. As a member of Form 1, you are a charismatic individual and people are drawn to you. Although sometimes you may seem emotionally distant, you are deeply in tune with other people's feelings and have tremendous empathy. Sometimes you have a tendency to neglect your own self. Goddesses are the best friends to have because they're always willing to help. Which Mythological Form Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Your soul is bound to the Fourth Totem, Solomon: The Owl. Solomon appears as an azure feathered owl. He embodies wisdom, judgement, reason, and stability. He is associated with the color azure, the season of autumn, and the element of water. His downfall is farsightedness. You are most compatible with Ravens and Monkeys. Which Animal Spirit Totem Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Current Mood: happy Current Music: "Blue Shades" -- Tichelli (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 24th, 2004
6:34 pm	Hey! Yes, Yes....I know, it's been over a week since I've written, but between work, rehearsals/practicing, etc....I get pretty darn worn out, and to be honest, lazy. Also, there hasn't been really all that much exciting in my life these past few days. SO, why should I write if it's just a reflection of my days at work. I'm sure that would be as boring to read as it is to type. There is some good news though. I've been trying to practice atleast every other day....and believe it or not, in just a short amount of time, my chops are starting to return. PLUS, I've been able to get some productive work done on my composing. Some of you can attest to this, as I've sent you bit and pieces to listen to and to give me some feedback. Granted, as always with me, it's slow progress, but even the smallest step is important, and forward motion to me....and that's the most important thing right now. Why do I say that? I've been doing some soul searching. I really don't know what my future career path is going to be.....it may seem pathetic for me to say that, but in reality, it's not pathetic at all. Think of it as a blank canvas, and I can do whatever the hell I want with it. As long as I'm doing something that get enough money to live on, I can devote other time to doing things that I enjoy with the prospects of moving down that way. Right now, I'm not tossing out the baking/cooking path....nor have I ever truely turned away from the massage/healing path.....but, I have to confess, if I had to pick one path to walk.....it would be that path that I've strayed from many times, but always seem to come back to....the path of my true love....my first love.....music. There have been many reasons and people who have nudged or bumped me off that path. So be it....everything happens for a reason.....but in the same "everything happens for a reason" light, there must be a reason that I keep coming back to music. Granted, I'm not doing ANYTHING in music that is able to get me any money at this point, but someday.....patience, and persistance. Just as Lia keeps working on her artistic outputs, it's my turn to wake up from the day in-day out grind that has kept me at bay, and from truely enjoying myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm really starting to enjoy my work.....but come on...i'm not going to be working at this poorly paying job doing the same thing everyday until i'm old enough to retire....no thank you....what i would like to do, is if my plans to breath life back into music get off the ground....as the music increases, let the baking decrease......never really letting go of either, just letting the scales that I always seem to let govern my life tip in another direction now. Maybe I'm just dreaming....maybe I'm just a fool....but damn it...I don't care....as I said to someone last night, someone to whom this comment most likely fell on deaf ears, "if you don't have hopes and dreams in this life, what is life worth?! why bother living if you can't look to your own stars and passions. Follow your heart...not your head" Current Mood: artistic Current Music: David Gillingham -- "Internal Combustion" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
10:03 pm	IT'S BACK!!!! Ok, so, I came home from a longish day of work today...pretty worn out and tired. That's nothing new. I knew that I had rehearsal tonight, so I kind of kicked back and relaxed for a bit, spending some time with my sweetie before she had to go to work. She did, and I was going back into relaxing mode.....then the phone rings. It's Artie (on of the directors of the group that I was rehearsing with tonight). He asked me if I could/would be able to play bassoon on this upcoming concert, instead of filling in in the tuba section. I kind of kicked the idea around and talked it over with him....and the long and the short of it, I said yes. So, I get Reggie out (for those of you who don't know, that's the name of my bassoon....yes, musicians are crazy and often name their instruments.....and mine is called "Reginald"....Reggie for short)...anyhow...I get him out thinking "Shit, I haven't seriously played this thing in about TWO YEARS....AND NOW I'VE BEEN CALLED TO SIT PRINCIPAL ON A CONCERT?!!!!" So I blow for a bit, knowing full well that my endurance will be squat at this point....and I was right....my chops were beat after only 20 mins of blowing. So I'm thinking, "Gah, I'm soooo screwed tonight!" But it was ok, I told Artie that I probably wouldn't be able to blow tonight anyhow because of lack of reeds. Well, I found one, so be it. ANYHOW, I go to rehearsal, and still wasn't sure if I was going to blow, but I brought reggie anyhow....and the personel manager talked me into playing, not that she had to push all that hard. So, I'm sitting there and blowing, and not doing too badly, especially since there is a lot of exposed bassoon licks in this stuff. There were a few rather embarassing points when there was silence from everyone, as there was supposed to be bassoon playing a soloistic part....(actually it was just an accompaniment, but it's a REALLY #%() quiet part)........but who cares, I was having fun, and my section mate is a lot of fun.....as is the principal alto sax on the other side.....so, we were having a lot of fun, as I slipped back into my "bassoonist" mode (meaning, there to just have fun at rehearsal, and play some good music).....Bottom line, my love of playing bassoon is now back. After a few years of not wanting to really play it, mainly caused by an asshole/worthless bassoon professor in college. (NOT D.B....heavens no, I still miss that man to this day....I'm talking about Cap'n Spazoid, his replacement.....*grumble*) ANYHOW....I'm sitting here typing this and feeling wonderful...and actually looking forward to playing and even practicing....something i've NEVER really liked. SO, IT'S BACK...and I'm just happier than hell...so deal! hehehe Current Mood: giddy Current Music: "Blue Shades"...well, in my head, since we played it tonight (2 Comments |Comment on this)